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Category: Straight Men

It’s Been a Hairy Ass Summer

I’ve been on a social media hiatus as of late. The summer has taken over and I just haven’t had the energy or the time to put my horny thoughts into something as cohesive like drawing or a blog. But as you can tell from this rambling post I am worked up to spew some verbal spooge. Even though I lack original visual content I have been watching a lot of porn as of late, and have procured more straight butts the Hairy Straight Butt Page. So I will take a moment to talk directly to the producers of straight porn for a moment and say “Hey, pull back that camera for 15-30 seconds, and give that man butt a chance to fly. Throw a bone to the faggots, like me, who watch straight porn, and we’ll love you forever!” Said my piece for tonight. Happy fucking!


Bush’s baked beans bearded bitch

It’s been along time since I’ve seen that stupid golden retriever talking about selling the recipes or Bush’s baked beans. I so wanted to strangle that dog! how dare he sell that recipe!!! But I am glad this time around the Bush guy has become an older bearded man craggy type that I can jack off to.


Straight up juicy booty

I’ve added another series of photos to my “Hairy Straight Butt” page. He’s not so hairy, just big and juicy. This bro is covered in slutty tattoos but his butt shines nice and bright with a crack you wanna lick from top to bottom and back again. I’ve got to wipe the drool of my iPad now but click on the link if you wanna see more.


Mortimer goes ga-ga for Kenny(and The First Edition!)

We all know Kenny Rogers is the most sexiest 70s salt and pepper Bear ever. But! if you are ever bored with your normal porn feed, do an image search for “Kenny Rogers and The First Edition” and you will find a young and dashing version of this country legend. So pretty I can’t get my mind out of the gutter. He played bass too! LICK!!!


Mustaches are inspiring lights through the pain

I’m caught between the upper lip and the whiskers of a strange man. Can’t say why I’m here in this space and time but I know I wanna hang in this moment as long as possible. I know there is stability, there is direction, there is identity. Yes! I wanna ride the ‘stache until I fall asleep for 8 hours straight. Piss in his mouth and roll over instead of getting up. Why because Mustache Man is here for me and I’m here for him.


Mel Street: More retro vinyl beef found!

Mel Street was a country music star who died before his time. Handsome fucker, ain’t he? I really wanted to buy this record but it rang like a lot of middle of the road 70s country music. Kinda dull for this rocker. I am not at the point where I want to spent eight bucks for a hot album cover but this one came close to starting me down that path. Just do me, and Mel, a favor and enjoy his beauty in this old record cover.


Retro records featuring sexy bed moments.

If you like spelunking through old vinyl you might know what I’m talking about. Some band photos borderline on some far out Friend Finder profile that I sorta wanna be a part of. Ok not all 70s/80s dudes are “10s” and they were all probably wearing shitty cologne that’s worse than any Axe product on the market. But! You gotta like how frank these photos are. It’s like yer in bed in the band. Kinda freaky!


More Hairy Straight Butts For You

I’m just going to keep posting more straight male porn butts at my Hairy Straight Butt Page. Only 2 sets so far, butt if you like forbidden fruit as much as I do maybe add it to your favorites. I plan on dumping here a few more times.

Hairy Straight Butt


Mortimer Pye Loves Hairy Straight Butts

Yes it’s true, I Mortimer Pye loves watching straight porn so I can see hairy straight butt. It’s not always easy to find a nice bouncing beautiful butt in porn made for straight men. But they do appear once in awhile and when they do I always take note and screen shots. Click the pic below to see more


Nick Bolton: I Mean, There’s Just Nothing Like Him on the Market Today.

Nick Bolton google search

I have a dirty secret and, if you are a red blooded American, I bet you have the same one. I wanna fuck Nick Bolton.  I first found out about this hardcore stud late at night, watching free digital channel reruns of Star Trek Voyager. He is the spokesman for Bell + Howell, and he’s on all their commercials for “military grade” flashlights, sunglasses, car visors, and cell phone camera attachments. His constant 8 o’clock shadow and butt chin memorized me and took me to a safe place. Later, when I did a web search, I realized he was, and is, so much more! He’s an actor. He works out a lot and knows how to stare endlessly into a camera lens. His well toned pecs and abs speak volumes! Plus he’s willing to throw down in chains, weights and bikini underwear.  Whether he’s straight, bi, or, gay, he’s obviously unattainable, and he knows it!  To coin a phase “I mean, there’s just nothing like HIM on the market today!”