Category: Opinion

Ever use those hook-up apps before? You know like Scruff, Growlr, or Grindr? A lot of sexy men on those apps-Huh? Sure it can be a lot of fun, but I always end up getting those damn rain checks!

At this point in my life I rarely hit on guys anymore. Sure, I’ll say “hello” to an attractive fella, but I don’t usually get aggressive to hook up right “now.” My approach is to get to know someone a bit, and set up a date in the near future.

Mutual attraction is most important, but sometimes you just want to get your rocks off. Since I’ve been vaccinated I have dipped my toe back in the cruising scene, and after the first week I have to say something. Stop the fucking rain checks! OK? Over the many months of quarantine I totally forgot about this annoying pattern of behavior, and I was blindsided twice in one week.

When I’m on these apps I often get a horned up, reasonably attractive guy (usually married or partnered)who wants it “now!” Sometimes I bite down and agree to let him come over. I pop my pill, jump in the shower, and throw the fuck blanket on the bed. While I’m trying to get my apartment looking spiffy for my guest, I get the message. “Can I take a Rain Check?”

Butt-hurt is never a good look when cruising, after all, we are adults and life does happen… But man! does this happen a lot! Sometimes dates have to broken at the last minute, but can we all agree to get our shit together before we ask for each others time? If you want to get fucked, shower up before you cruise. If you are partnered, make sure you have the afternoon free. If you find someone “better” after you asserted the “now” factor with a dude, suck it up and for fill your social obligation.

Whatever your deal is, make sure it’s dealt with before you start hounding lonely single men for attention. And please, if you have to take a “Rain Check” make sure it’s raining.

Not that long ago I wrote a blog entry about wanting to be called a “Rock n Roll Daddy” if you were to call me “Daddy” at all.  I wanted to emphasize that the term “Daddy” is one that is personal and not to be taken for granted. On the flip side I generally don’t throw out the label ”boy” when chatting up fellas online (unless they truly are boys-under 27.) It’s not that I don’t want that kind of intamacy between me and another man, but my experience has taught me it’s rarely that easy to click at that level meeting through social media. Either we never meet, or when we do expectations were not met to facilitate a good Daddy/boy session. Also, I don’t know where my heart is going to lay, who I’m going to meet, what I’m going to learn or who I am going become, so until I find some certainty in the imaginary land of ”Daddy & boy” I’m looking for “buds.” Friends. Friends who like to fuck, fuck and talk, and fuck off together. So if you chat with me on one of those fancy phone apps I might just call you “bud,” because that’s what Daddy wants.