Browsing:

Category: Personal

Let’s get Loose! (but not too loose)

Anal sex continues to be my favorite sex, but it’s not all bells and whistles. Basically there are 3 types of bottoms. Guys who are too tight, too loose, or just right(yes it’s the Goldilocks effect.) Let me explain.

There are those horny bottoms that don’t work their holes open at all before an encounter, making the top do all the work. I love eating butt, BUT my tongue can’t stretch a tight hole enough for fucking. Fingers can be useful but some guys don’t like fingers, and I don’t like seeing pained expressions while trying to help the situation. Also, I find finger fucking to be not that sexy, considering how sticky it makes everything. The solution is to sit on a moderate sized dildo or butt-plug before the encounter. If yer tight, walk through the motions of popping that b-hole open before you ask someone else to do it.

Then there are guys that are too loose. I have an above average uncut penis (7×5.) It’s a nice size but there are going to be some guys I can’t satisfy without toys or a fist. But I have been with slutty bottoms that knew how to clench there holes just right. So if you’re a bottom that craves more, more and even more, practice squeezing a small butt-plug once and awhile. Too much friction is a pain, but not enough is just pointless. Considering all the physical issues with getting in position for a good fuck, a loose hole just does not work.

Finally there are the butt’s that are just right. Either the dude gets fucked a lot and has superior muscle control, or he’s prepped his tight ass with a small toy. The perfect bottom is the kinda guy that knows he’s there to service the needs of the man in front of him, and derives pleasure from helping him meet his goals. Being too tight or too loose hinders that process and only frustrates the situation.

So please communicate. Get to know, and prep, your butts appropriately. Let’s not fuss with fingers, or hours of butt licking. Let’s not get so loose, we control. Let’s just get back to fucking.


Urban Mountain Man is about finding cool sexy shit hiding in plain site

My old man Joe used to collect images of hot Bear dudes before the whole bear thing got started. There was no apps, internet sites, or even Bear Magazine. He found what he could and where he could. Often he would throw out an entire porn mag and save one or two photos. There are also hot bearded bros pulled from typical everyday newspapers and magazines. A lot of his collection is on this website already, especially the earlier posts, but I feel I need to keep up this sexy random tradition. Below are few silly finds that I think meet this standard.

Hidden inside a video game manual for the retro style game “Paprium” is a muscly dude in a jock, intensely gaming.
Can you find the “Lug” worthy of a “Chug?”
If you guessed the dude on the far left give yer crotch a stroke!
This guy is not British, he’s married to the actress who played Samantha on Bewitched. Caught him on Buzzr in an episode of Password. Damn he’s nice and saucy in that hot n hairy unbuttoned 70s kind of way.

Please No Rain Checks! OK?

Ever use those hook-up apps before? You know like Scruff, Growlr, or Grindr? A lot of sexy men on those apps-Huh? Sure it can be a lot of fun, but I always end up getting those damn rain checks!

At this point in my life I rarely hit on guys anymore. Sure, I’ll say “hello” to an attractive fella, but I don’t usually get aggressive to hook up right “now.” My approach is to get to know someone a bit, and set up a date in the near future.

Mutual attraction is most important, but sometimes you just want to get your rocks off. Since I’ve been vaccinated I have dipped my toe back in the cruising scene, and after the first week I have to say something. Stop the fucking rain checks! OK? Over the many months of quarantine I totally forgot about this annoying pattern of behavior, and I was blindsided twice in one week.

When I’m on these apps I often get a horned up, reasonably attractive guy (usually married or partnered)who wants it “now!” Sometimes I bite down and agree to let him come over. I pop my pill, jump in the shower, and throw the fuck blanket on the bed. While I’m trying to get my apartment looking spiffy for my guest, I get the message. “Can I take a Rain Check?”

Butt-hurt is never a good look when cruising, after all, we are adults and life does happen… But man! does this happen a lot! Sometimes dates have to broken at the last minute, but can we all agree to get our shit together before we ask for each others time? If you want to get fucked, shower up before you cruise. If you are partnered, make sure you have the afternoon free. If you find someone “better” after you asserted the “now” factor with a dude, suck it up and for fill your social obligation.

Whatever your deal is, make sure it’s dealt with before you start hounding lonely single men for attention. And please, if you have to take a “Rain Check” make sure it’s raining.


Making Those Jack-Off Videos

I used to have so much solo fun making jack-off videos in the early days of xtube. I am a bit of an exhibitionist, and it was a rush getting attention for something so easy and enjoyable, but in the end I stopped because I didn’t like being recognized at the bar. I got tired of having expectations placed on me when I generally prefer anonymity. Looking for romance, I hope to find a good conversation with a handsome fella when I go out. Often times my online persona would get in the way with that objective. Either I’d get obnoxiously hit on by mega horny dudes, or guys would assume I’m mega horny all the time. Basically it stopped being cool, and became a chore to keep up. Unfortunately I couldn’t just keep this fetish in the bedroom. Sometimes I regret pulling the plug on my xtube channel, but overall I’m happy with that decision. I’d rather be focusing on my aesthetic convictions with this site, and keep some parts of life private. But you never know… maybe one day I’ll fire up the webcam and spunk it up for viewers again, or maybe I’ll post an old video in a fit of nostalgia. For now it’ll be just something to think about.


Broken Hearts are for Assholes

Lost in despair. The man of my dreams is in a relationship. He’s in love with himself. Oh Gar! if you loved me half as much as those tight boy holes you plug so eloquently I’d be the happiest old man alive.


It’s Been a Hairy Ass Summer

I’ve been on a social media hiatus as of late. The summer has taken over and I just haven’t had the energy or the time to put my horny thoughts into something as cohesive like drawing or a blog. But as you can tell from this rambling post I am worked up to spew some verbal spooge. Even though I lack original visual content I have been watching a lot of porn as of late, and have procured more straight butts the Hairy Straight Butt Page. So I will take a moment to talk directly to the producers of straight porn for a moment and say “Hey, pull back that camera for 15-30 seconds, and give that man butt a chance to fly. Throw a bone to the faggots, like me, who watch straight porn, and we’ll love you forever!” Said my piece for tonight. Happy fucking!


Happy Birthday Joe

I drew this picture a few years ago for my old man Joe. He died of a heart attack in 2005, and everyday since I send my prayers to him. His birthday was on christmas eve. He was a wise man, quiet at times, but was a heavily opinionated liberal hippy. Underneath his strong silent daddy personae, he was a deep well of emotion and love. Although at times he might not have admitted it, he was stunningly beautiful. He could be a difficult stubborn man, but he always found a way to channel his frustration into his sex drive. Rock hard 7″ that curved down when erect, not up. That cock could pry a hole open and give a bottom a night to remember for many years to come.  I could gush for hours about my old boyfriend, and will continue to do so from time to time on this site which is dedicated to his memory: Joseph P. Miesen, the original Urban Mountain Man.

Miesen

Joe nip twist

Joe tall man


Mortimer Pye is Looking for “Buds”

Not that long ago I wrote a blog entry about wanting to be called a “Rock n Roll Daddy” if you were to call me “Daddy” at all.  I wanted to emphasize that the term “Daddy” is one that is personal and not to be taken for granted. On the flip side I generally don’t throw out the label ”boy” when chatting up fellas online (unless they truly are boys-under 27.) It’s not that I don’t want that kind of intamacy between me and another man, but my experience has taught me it’s rarely that easy to click at that level meeting through social media. Either we never meet, or when we do expectations were not met to facilitate a good Daddy/boy session. Also, I don’t know where my heart is going to lay, who I’m going to meet, what I’m going to learn or who I am going become, so until I find some certainty in the imaginary land of ”Daddy & boy” I’m looking for “buds.” Friends. Friends who like to fuck, fuck and talk, and fuck off together. So if you chat with me on one of those fancy phone apps I might just call you “bud,” because that’s what Daddy wants.

Buds


Need an Ass to Ride

need an ass to ride

Need an ass to ride
A place to hide
Come up behind
Grab both sides
Glissen and glide
Catch my stride
Pile it high
Pop my top let it fly
Not gonna lie
Been looking online
Cuz it’s been a long time
Since I was deep inside
Not gonna cry
Or loose my mind
Just gimme an ass to ride
oh…
And to chew on too!

Forest butt bear

 


I Wanna be Your Rock ‘n’ Roll Daddy

For the past few years I have been reluctant to label myself as a “Daddy.” When I first began topping men I abstractly enjoyed (and jacked off to) the idea of being some kind of a father figure to a hot sub. Personalities being what they are, I never quite found my boy. More often than not I found the term being forced on me by men who did not quite fit the bill. I came to realize that for “Daddy” to work for me, I needed to feel a deeper connection with the sub beyond the sexual, and as noted earlier, I never found my boy. These days I see all sorts of variants on sub/Dom relationships play out at the local gay bars on fetish nights, and I’m inspired! I don’t want to dress up like a dog, a biker, or a lumberjack. I’m not a furry or a gaymer and most bar scenes bore me. No! The one thing I love more than anything is rock and/or rock ‘n’ roll. It’s my favorite thing to talk about, listen to, and work on. I have my own band, I write music, and produce a cartoon rock band. I have a psychedelic dungeon in my basement filled with old records. One day I look forward to sharing this love of music and art with some eager sub minded individual. I wouldn’t call listening  to music kinky(unless you are listening to The Kinks,) but I can’t think of a better way to spend time with my boy before molesting him in the garage. So if you see me out and about or online, call me “Rock ‘n’ Roll Daddy” and you will most likely get my attention.