I have a dirty secret and, if you are a red blooded American, I bet you have the same one. I wanna fuck Nick Bolton. I first found out about this hardcore stud late at night, watching free digital channel reruns of Star Trek Voyager. He is the spokesman for Bell + Howell, and he’s on all their commercials for “military grade” flashlights, sunglasses, car visors, and cell phone camera attachments. His constant 8 o’clock shadow and butt chin memorized me and took me to a safe place. Later, when I did a web search, I realized he was, and is, so much more! He’s an actor. He works out a lot and knows how to stare endlessly into a camera lens. His well toned pecs and abs speak volumes! Plus he’s willing to throw down in chains, weights and bikini underwear. Whether he’s straight, bi, or, gay, he’s obviously unattainable, and he knows it! To coin a phase “I mean, there’s just nothing like HIM on the market today!”
Slogans are awesome. The best ones can persuade, empower, inform, and even make you chuckle. When you put a slogan on your t-shirt, it’s seen as statement of your own personal beliefs, politics, or identity. With that in mind, what if you are a LGBT kinkster who’s looking for casual apparel that represents your deviant side? What if you’re the type who doesn’t give a rats ass that your kink might get someone else’s fur in a tangle? Where can you go for this type of personal branding? Pervyology.com that’s where.
In the late 60s early 70s hippy counter culture slogans were everywhere. When I first started perusing through the many pages of the online shop, Pervyology.com, it reminded me of my aunts button collection pinned to the drapes in her teenage pot-den in the basement at grandmas and grandpas house. Slogans like “Homosexuality is a Pain in the Ass“ and “Give Generously to Your Local Sperm Bank” rang through my brain and tweaked my young pervy intellect. Pervyology.com carries on this old school hippy biker t-shirt tradition, but for the LGBT and kink communities. The site has a menu for various kink subgroups like Puppy Shirts, Bear Shirts, Transgender, etc. But I suggest you check out the LGBT section which seems to house all of the T-shirt designs from all the subgroups. It’s a good read and you might even get offended, but most likely you will find your dirty little secret boldly printed on a garment you can buy online. I bought “REAL MEN EAT ASS,” a sentiment that I’ve had for a very long time but never pondered that I could find it on a T-shirt. (See my blog review of this T ) This site covers a wide range of sentiments that are expressed with an unforgiving, but lovable, Daddy voice. Some of the slogans are little cliche and some a little wordy, but a lot of them are crafted just right to tweak your brain and get your desire pumping. Using clip art, and Disney style illustrations (mostly of bears and pups,) the designs create a cozy style that is both familiar and perverse. No fancy fonts, just unadulterated easy to understand kinky slogans, that will make your chest stand out for your next party, night on the town, or slutty evening with your buds.
Pervyology.com is owned by a a Bear, a Cub, and a Pup. They are into roller derby big time and there is a huge section of the site dedicated to the sport. They also have a selection of puppy/animal masks, paws, tails and a few other random fetish items for sale. But the slogans are the big star here. They make the site an entertaining and fascinating read whether or not you plan on making a purchase, but we implore you to make a purchase. We know one will pique your interest. Maybe buy one one for Father’s Day?
Believe it that I, Mortimer Pye, has sat and pondered this notion, “REAL MEN EAT ASS”(yes in all caps!) In this writer’s humble opinion, there is nothing more beautiful and delectable than a mans butt. Many bottoms have reported to me that most guys they hook up with don’t eat them out proper, if at all, and goddamn it, I think that should change! Thanks to Pervyology.com I can use the power of persuasion, and maybe get a date or two, wearing the “REAL MEN EAT ASS” T-shirt at the next bar night or kink party.
(Read the UMM blog post for more information about Pervyology.com)