Maybe it’s because the long road to the 2020 presidential election had become aggravating weeks ago, and/or maybe it’s because I stayed up late last night watching the polls close with a few too many beers, but I feel like a dick today. I don’t just feel like a dick metaphor as in “being a dick” or being “cocky.” I feel like a dick up my ass and feel like a dick in my mouth. Since I feel like I’m being fucked by the system, it would at least be nice to get the real thing once and awhile-sigh! Covid is still looming over the American landscape, so I’m prolly not gonna get fucked today, but at least I can draw all the dicks, cocks and, butts I need to soothe my sad gay life. This race is tight, so no matter what the result of election, please find time in your life to fight fascism. Society has gotten really scary as of late, and we need to make sure the shriveled penises of the anti-American right wing don’t dick us out of our freedoms and liberties.
Not much is going on these days. CV-19 isn’t going anywhere apparently, and that means little to no sex for bachelor Mort. Beating off gets the job done, but doesn’t cure the loneliness or the desire to see, touch, smell, taste another man. The only recourse I have are my drawings, so I will try to use this type sketch therapy more often and show the results here at UMM. Hope you enjoy the results of my pent up frustration.
Old man Marty is never late for the party. This hot chubby bear bottom would love nothing more than to host Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout, from The Lost Vikings, for a little 16-Bit romp in his tight but malleable butthole.
What’s better than a grey bushy mustache, a butt chin, and an uncut penis? Whatever your answer is, those are damn good specs and William P. Butterscotch has ‘em in spades! He’s a army veteran, enjoys working on his 70’s muscle car collection, and lives in Sacramento CA with his American Bulldog, Clyde. His life is very complete and fulfilling, but he would do just about anything for a date with one of POW’s in Metal Slug. So, if you’ve been tied up and tortured for a few months(and not allowed to shave) you might be the kind of guy William would like to rescue in a storm of bullets. Wuf!
Here’s the first of the Urban Mountain Man’s 8-bit pixel stud collection: Stephon Wolfe. His mom named him 9 months after seeing the great sixties biker garage band Steppenwolf in 1970. Just like his name, he’s classic rock hard, I mean classic hard rock all the time. He works in construction, rides a Harley, and hopes one day Nintendo will make a game he can save Mario from Princess Peach.
Since CV-19 has hit the scene I’ve been playing a lot of retro video games lately to help pass the time. Being the good boy that I am, I am not tricking during this crisis and I hope you are staying safe as well. All this abstinence has led up to some pent up frustration that has made me horny for the muscly 8-bit and 16-bit characters in classic arcade games like Altered Beast, Metal Slug, and Street Fighter II. So I whipped out my pixel art app and started poking away at the screen. Watch this site over the next few weeks for more of my cheap graphic endeavors.
I found this old pamphlet up in my parents attic the other day and could not resist taking a pic of that monumental ass. I believe it’s a Michelangelo sculpture,￼￼ but not sure which one. The other muscly dude wrapped around his legs and face pressed up against his thigh is enough to drive one batty with dirty thoughts. I can hardly believe this was printed in 1959. I guess if something back then was￼ considered “fine art” it got a pass. Honestly if this flyer was printed today I don’t think they would use this image. Man butt is no longer considered the height of beauty in the art world￼￼, but don’t fear my horny brethren, here at Urban Mountain Man it always will be.
Been craving long tender man kisses lately, but love has been hard to find in this cold Minnesota winter. I could whine about the bar scene or shitty dating apps, but instead I’ll stick to my drawings to vent my frustrations. Hope yer getting plenty of man size man kisses to keep you warm this season.
Doesn’t everyone have an Uncle Dick? Below is an artistic rendering of my uncle Dick. He’s a bit older now, and has difficulty walking, but in his prime he was a towering bull bachelor living in the burbs.
I’m not talking about anything illegal or illicit. Just good old fashioned hardcore Daddy boy love fetish. Men who are still boys at heart, and men who want to fuck them. Part of me still fantasizes about “Daddy.” I like the bigger older guys with tough craggy muscles, fat and hair in peculiar places, bald spots, thick glasses, and a thick drippy dick. But as I get older and becoming more craggy by the week, I find I enjoy molesting young men who still are clinging to some form of innocence. As you can tell from this illustration I found a way to bring it all together.