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Category: Pop Culture

Urban Mountain Man is about finding cool sexy shit hiding in plain site

My old man Joe used to collect images of hot Bear dudes before the whole bear thing got started. There was no apps, internet sites, or even Bear Magazine. He found what he could and where he could. Often he would throw out an entire porn mag and save one or two photos. There are also hot bearded bros pulled from typical everyday newspapers and magazines. A lot of his collection is on this website already, especially the earlier posts, but I feel I need to keep up this sexy random tradition. Below are few silly finds that I think meet this standard.

Hidden inside a video game manual for the retro style game “Paprium” is a muscly dude in a jock, intensely gaming.
Can you find the “Lug” worthy of a “Chug?”
If you guessed the dude on the far left give yer crotch a stroke!
This guy is not British, he’s married to the actress who played Samantha on Bewitched. Caught him on Buzzr in an episode of Password. Damn he’s nice and saucy in that hot n hairy unbuttoned 70s kind of way.

Zbyszko Cyganiewicz: Polish Beef

As a man of Polish decent I am never so proud of my heritage more than when I’m ogling images of Zbyszko Cyganiewicz. I’m not going to go into his life story here(We got Wikipedia for that.) Instead I’m just going to enjoy his round muscles, his thick soft skin that wrinkles at all the right places, and his hard belly slightly sagging nips. Too bad I couldn’t find a completely nude photo, or ass pic, of this strongman/professional wrestler. Only typical wrestling poses and portrait shots. I guess I can only imagine what he would look like, buck-naked, legs in the air.


Cybear Punk 2077

I bought a used copy of Cyberpunk 2077 for my basic PS4. I didn’t get very far until it glitched on me (it locked me in the tutorials, if you must know.) Before that unfortunate and frustrating incident I did get to make my own model of the main character V. Despite the many color and style options for the hair, scars, etc. I made the most generic looking bear man I could. Unfortunately you can’t make him have a beer belly or a juicy booty, BUT as you can see you can customize his penis. Really you only get three options: small, medium and large (I chose large.) No cut, or uncut, or how many veins you’d like- sigh! Of course, none of this affects gameplay, it’s all cosmetic. I just think it’s interesting I designed the most basic bear archetype for an avatar ever, when given a chance to live in a futuristic virtual world. Uhg! I’m such a basic bitch!


Life is Good. What Else Can I Say?

Actually things are not so great. You know why. I’m not gonna rant. I’m just going to take a “wait and see” attitude and wait and see. Until then, my old man hormones rage. I’m not going into details about that either, and let the images above explain my desire. It’s a bit random. Been watching a bit of wrestling lately. It’s a beautiful activity. Maybe I wanna do some bitch slapping, or get bitch slapped. I don’t know any more. I’m just turned on. Life is good.


Van Men having a good time with their vans.

Here is a few edited pics from a 1970’s book called Van People. There are many fascinating images of the post hippie culture of vans in this book, and a lot of them feature sexy dudes in cut off jean shorts that beautifully ride up the crotch. I wasn’t old enough to experience this fad first hand but these pics helps fill in the gaps my fantasies need filling.

Van dudes mooning the camera in front of a van.
Van People: The Great American Rainbow Boogie – copyright 1977

Retro gaymer lust confirmed

Hey bro! want to come over and see my new 1up 3/4 scale replica Pac-Man arcade cabinet I got at Walmart. Don’t worry! we don’t have to wear masks, or a socially distance because we’re bro’s, and besides I know where your face has been heh-heh! We’ll just play some Pac-Man, drink some beers, smoke some weed, and talk about our beards. Yours is coming in good, might I say. I hope you don’t mind if I stand a little close. I just want to see all the action on the screen, and if you get the high score I’ll have to give you a bro hug, or maybe a bro kiss when you’re not looking. JK bro! Gotcha! Seriously come over tonight, let’s have some fun!


The Lost Vikings 16-Bit Suck Off

The Lost Vikings are the titular protagonists of The Lost Vikings franchise, bearing the names of Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout. This group of burly mothers make me wanna grab my game controller and start button mashing. In the game they each have to work together with their individual set of abilities to advance the game. I like to think how that game mechanic might translate in the bedroom. Their gruff determination and hairy attitude would definitely flip me but based on the illustration above I hope they’re growers, because they are certainly not show-ers.


8-Bit Marty the Bear

Old man Marty is never late for the party. This hot chubby bear bottom would love nothing more than to host Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout, from The Lost Vikings, for a little 16-Bit romp in his tight but malleable butthole.


A Monumental Ass From the Past

I found this old pamphlet up in my parents attic the other day and could not resist taking a pic of that monumental ass. I believe it’s a Michelangelo sculpture, but not sure which one. The other muscly dude wrapped around his legs and face pressed up against his thigh is enough to drive one batty with dirty thoughts. I can hardly believe this was printed in 1959. I guess if something back then was considered “fine art” it got a pass. Honestly if this flyer was printed today I don’t think they would use this image. Man butt is no longer considered the height of beauty in the art world, but don’t fear my horny brethren, here at Urban Mountain Man it always will be.


Hey Bud! What’s in your game sack?

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube content about retro gaming. I wouldn’t consider myself a gamer, but I grew up with video games, and I still play my old Wii from time to time. Watching scruffy mature men grunt, complain, and pontificate about their favorite consoles or game franchises is not only informative, but also I find it to be a nice springboard for my nerdy buddy fantasies.