I found this old pamphlet up in my parents attic the other day and could not resist taking a pic of that monumental ass. I believe it’s a Michelangelo sculpture,￼￼ but not sure which one. The other muscly dude wrapped around his legs and face pressed up against his thigh is enough to drive one batty with dirty thoughts. I can hardly believe this was printed in 1959. I guess if something back then was￼ considered “fine art” it got a pass. Honestly if this flyer was printed today I don’t think they would use this image. Man butt is no longer considered the height of beauty in the art world￼￼, but don’t fear my horny brethren, here at Urban Mountain Man it always will be.
I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube content about retro gaming. I wouldn’t consider myself a gamer, but I grew up with video games, and I still play my old Wii from time to time. Watching scruffy mature men grunt, complain, and pontificate about their favorite consoles or game franchises is not only informative, but also I find it to be a nice springboard for my nerdy buddy fantasies.
I had a strange horny surprise at the grocery store tonight. This goddamn, sexy grey bearded cro-mag daddy donning a weiner lei, and baring a weiner tattoo appeared in the frozen meat aisle. His name is Carl. Even though he was only a cardboard cut out for Johnsonville brats, I really felt we had a connection. Although we didn’t talk much, or at all, and he barely looked at me, that is on par with most guys I meet at the bar, so this just might work out.
It’s been along time since I’ve seen that stupid golden retriever talking about selling the recipes or Bush’s baked beans. I so wanted to strangle that dog! how dare he sell that recipe!!! But I am glad this time around the Bush guy has become an older bearded man craggy type that I can jack off to.
We all know Kenny Rogers is the most sexiest 70s salt and pepper Bear ever. But! if you are ever bored with your normal porn feed, do an image search for “Kenny Rogers and The First Edition” and you will find a young and dashing version of this country legend. So pretty I can’t get my mind out of the gutter. He played bass too! LICK!!!
OK! everybody knows Rob Halford is gay, but they didn’t know it in 1983. Which is why it is worth re-looking at some Judas Priest early song lyrics like the one posted below. The song Eat Me Alive is off the album Defenders of the Faith. And fer my money its best song about a blow job since Terry Reid’s early 70s sleeper hit Super Lungs. But what makes this interesting is the fact that we know now that this song is about a gay blow job. I dunno? I guess it gives me a semi knowing that many young teenage heshers were banging their heads to a song about gay cock while they were most likely deriding gay people on a daily basis. I realize this has probably all been hashed out elsewhere and everywhere in the metal world but I just wanted to get in on some easy action. Great lyrics btw.
I’m caught between the upper lip and the whiskers of a strange man. Can’t say why I’m here in this space and time but I know I wanna hang in this moment as long as possible. I know there is stability, there is direction, there is identity. Yes! I wanna ride the ‘stache until I fall asleep for 8 hours straight. Piss in his mouth and roll over instead of getting up. Why because Mustache Man is here for me and I’m here for him.
Mel Street was a country music star who died before his time. Handsome fucker, ain’t he? I really wanted to buy this record but it rang like a lot of middle of the road 70s country music. Kinda dull for this rocker. I am not at the point where I want to spent eight bucks for a hot album cover but this one came close to starting me down that path. Just do me, and Mel, a favor and enjoy his beauty in this old record cover.
If you like spelunking through old vinyl you might know what I’m talking about. Some band photos borderline on some far out Friend Finder profile that I sorta wanna be a part of. Ok not all 70s/80s dudes are “10s” and they were all probably wearing shitty cologne that’s worse than any Axe product on the market. But! You gotta like how frank these photos are. It’s like yer in bed in the band. Kinda freaky!
While flipping through the used vinyl at a local record store, looking for my usual hard rock and bubble gum fare, I came across these two glorious album covers. They maybe a little dated but their point timeless.