The Lost Vikings 16-Bit Suck Off

The Lost Vikings are the titular protagonists of The Lost Vikings franchise, bearing the names of Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout. This group of burly mothers make me wanna grab my game controller and start button mashing. In the game they each have to work together with their individual set of abilities to advance the game. I like to think how that game mechanic might translate in the bedroom. They’re gruff determination and hairy attitude would definitely flip me but based on the illustration above I hope they’re growers, because they are certainly not show-ers.


8-Bit Marty the Bear

Old man Marty is never late for the party. This hot chubby bear bottom would love nothing more than to host Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout, from The Lost Vikings, for a little 16-Bit romp in his tight but malleable butthole.


A Backlog of Straight Man Butts

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted some nice juicy man booty on this site. I guess I’ve been to lazy beating off to them to bother making screen shots, editing them and posting them. But I’m finally getting off my ass to show you these fine asses. Click here to go to the updated Straight Man Butt Page.


8-bit pixel stud: William P. Butterscotch

What’s better than a grey bushy mustache, a butt chin, and an uncut penis? Whatever your answer is, those are damn good specs and William P. Butterscotch has ‘em in spades! He’s a army veteran, enjoys working on his 70’s muscle car collection, and lives in Sacramento CA with his American Bulldog, Clyde. His life is very complete and fulfilling, but he would do just about anything for a date with one of POW’s in Metal Slug. So, if you’ve been tied up and tortured for a few months(and not allowed to shave) you might be the kind of guy William would like to rescue in a storm of bullets. Wuf!


8-bit nekkid pixel man: Stephon Wolfe

Here’s the first of the Urban Mountain Man’s 8-bit pixel stud collection: Stephon Wolfe. His mom named him 9 months after seeing the great sixties biker garage band Steppenwolf in 1970. Just like his name, he’s classic rock hard, I mean classic hard rock all the time. He works in construction, rides a Harley, and hopes one day Nintendo will make a game he can save Mario from Princess Peach.


8-bit pixel dick looks good enough to suck

Since CV-19 has hit the scene I’ve been playing a lot of retro video games lately to help pass the time. Being the good boy that I am, I am not tricking during this crisis and I hope you are staying safe as well. All this abstinence has led up to some pent up frustration that has made me horny for the muscly 8-bit and 16-bit characters in classic arcade games like Altered Beast, Metal Slug, and Street Fighter II. So I whipped out my pixel art app and started poking away at the screen. Watch this site over the next few weeks for more of my cheap graphic endeavors.


A Monumental Ass From the Past

I found this old pamphlet up in my parents attic the other day and could not resist taking a pic of that monumental ass. I believe it’s a Michelangelo sculpture, but not sure which one. The other muscly dude wrapped around his legs and face pressed up against his thigh is enough to drive one batty with dirty thoughts. I can hardly believe this was printed in 1959. I guess if something back then was considered “fine art” it got a pass. Honestly if this flyer was printed today I don’t think they would use this image. Man butt is no longer considered the height of beauty in the art world, but don’t fear my horny brethren, here at Urban Mountain Man it always will be.


Man kisses are the best No. 2

Been craving long tender man kisses lately, but love has been hard to find in this cold Minnesota winter. I could whine about the bar scene or shitty dating apps, but instead I’ll stick to my drawings to vent my frustrations. Hope yer getting plenty of man size man kisses to keep you warm this season.


Dirty hippie fucker cartoon

I’ve been fantasizing about older hippies and metal heads lately so I had to draw a few. It’s a silly cartoon, that’s for sure, but I like the characters. Who knows, maybe these guys will show up in the Comix section again.


Hey Bud! What’s in your game sack?

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube content about retro gaming. I wouldn’t consider myself a gamer, but I grew up with video games, and I still play my old Wii from time to time. Watching scruffy mature men grunt, complain, and pontificate about their favorite consoles or game franchises is not only informative, but also I find it to be a nice springboard for my nerdy buddy fantasies.