Not much is going on these days. CV-19 isn’t going anywhere apparently, and that means little to no sex for bachelor Mort. Beating off gets the job done, but doesn’t cure the loneliness or the desire to see, touch, smell, taste another man. The only recourse I have are my drawings, so I will try to use this type sketch therapy more often and show the results here at UMM. Hope you enjoy the results of my pent up frustration.
Hey bro! want to come over and see my new 1up 3/4 scale replica Pac-Man arcade cabinet I got at Walmart. Don’t worry! we don’t have to wear masks, or a socially distance because we’re bro’s, and besides I know where your face has been heh-heh! We’ll just play some Pac-Man, drink some beers, smoke some weed, and talk about our beards. Yours is coming in good, might I say. I hope you don’t mind if I stand a little close. I just want to see all the action on the screen, and if you get the high score I’ll have to give you a bro hug, or maybe a bro kiss when you’re not looking. JK bro! Gotcha! Seriously come over tonight, let’s have some fun!
Whenever these two get together to play a little Street Fighter 2, they both have to be the rough and ready Russian with a mohawk Zangeif. Sure it’s a little vain playing a mirror-match with look-a-likes, but it’s Dirk and Kirk’s favorite form of foreplay. Whenever Dirk kicks Kirks butt in the game he gets to lick his butt on the couch afterwards.
The Lost Vikings are the titular protagonists of The Lost Vikings franchise, bearing the names of Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout. This group of burly mothers make me wanna grab my game controller and start button mashing. In the game they each have to work together with their individual set of abilities to advance the game. I like to think how that game mechanic might translate in the bedroom. Their gruff determination and hairy attitude would definitely flip me but based on the illustration above I hope they’re growers, because they are certainly not show-ers.
Old man Marty is never late for the party. This hot chubby bear bottom would love nothing more than to host Baleog the Fierce, Erik the Swift, and Olaf the Stout, from The Lost Vikings, for a little 16-Bit romp in his tight but malleable butthole.
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted some nice juicy man booty on this site. I guess I’ve been to lazy beating off to them to bother making screen shots, editing them and posting them. But I’m finally getting off my ass to show you these fine asses. Click here to go to the updated Straight Man Butt Page.
What’s better than a grey bushy mustache, a butt chin, and an uncut penis? Whatever your answer is, those are damn good specs and William P. Butterscotch has ‘em in spades! He’s a army veteran, enjoys working on his 70’s muscle car collection, and lives in Sacramento CA with his American Bulldog, Clyde. His life is very complete and fulfilling, but he would do just about anything for a date with one of POW’s in Metal Slug. So, if you’ve been tied up and tortured for a few months(and not allowed to shave) you might be the kind of guy William would like to rescue in a storm of bullets. Wuf!
Here’s the first of the Urban Mountain Man’s 8-bit pixel stud collection: Stephon Wolfe. His mom named him 9 months after seeing the great sixties biker garage band Steppenwolf in 1970. Just like his name, he’s classic rock hard, I mean classic hard rock all the time. He works in construction, rides a Harley, and hopes one day Nintendo will make a game he can save Mario from Princess Peach.
Since CV-19 has hit the scene I’ve been playing a lot of retro video games lately to help pass the time. Being the good boy that I am, I am not tricking during this crisis and I hope you are staying safe as well. All this abstinence has led up to some pent up frustration that has made me horny for the muscly 8-bit and 16-bit characters in classic arcade games like Altered Beast, Metal Slug, and Street Fighter II. So I whipped out my pixel art app and started poking away at the screen. Watch this site over the next few weeks for more of my cheap graphic endeavors.
I found this old pamphlet up in my parents attic the other day and could not resist taking a pic of that monumental ass. I believe it’s a Michelangelo sculpture,￼￼ but not sure which one. The other muscly dude wrapped around his legs and face pressed up against his thigh is enough to drive one batty with dirty thoughts. I can hardly believe this was printed in 1959. I guess if something back then was￼ considered “fine art” it got a pass. Honestly if this flyer was printed today I don’t think they would use this image. Man butt is no longer considered the height of beauty in the art world￼￼, but don’t fear my horny brethren, here at Urban Mountain Man it always will be.