I had a strange horny surprise at the grocery store tonight. This goddamn, sexy grey bearded cro-mag daddy donning a weiner lei, and baring a weiner tattoo appeared in the frozen meat aisle. His name is Carl. Even though he was only a cardboard cut out for Johnsonville brats, I really felt we had a connection. Although we didn’t talk much, or at all, and he barely looked at me, that is on par with most guys I meet at the bar, so this just might work out.
We all know Kenny Rogers is the most sexiest 70s salt and pepper Bear ever. But! if you are ever bored with your normal porn feed, do an image search for “Kenny Rogers and The First Edition” and you will find a young and dashing version of this country legend. So pretty I can’t get my mind out of the gutter. He played bass too! LICK!!!
OK! everybody knows Rob Halford is gay, but they didn’t know it in 1983. Which is why it is worth re-looking at some Judas Priest early song lyrics like the one posted below. The song Eat Me Alive is off the album Defenders of the Faith. And fer my money its best song about a blow job since Terry Reid’s early 70s sleeper hit Super Lungs. But what makes this interesting is the fact that we know now that this song is about a gay blow job. I dunno? I guess it gives me a semi knowing that many young teenage heshers were banging their heads to a song about gay cock while they were most likely deriding gay people on a daily basis. I realize this has probably all been hashed out elsewhere and everywhere in the metal world but I just wanted to get in on some easy action. Great lyrics btw.
I’m caught between the upper lip and the whiskers of a strange man. Can’t say why I’m here in this space and time but I know I wanna hang in this moment as long as possible. I know there is stability, there is direction, there is identity. Yes! I wanna ride the ‘stache until I fall asleep for 8 hours straight. Piss in his mouth and roll over instead of getting up. Why because Mustache Man is here for me and I’m here for him.
Mel Street was a country music star who died before his time. Handsome fucker, ain’t he? I really wanted to buy this record but it rang like a lot of middle of the road 70s country music. Kinda dull for this rocker. I am not at the point where I want to spent eight bucks for a hot album cover but this one came close to starting me down that path. Just do me, and Mel, a favor and enjoy his beauty in this old record cover.
If you like spelunking through old vinyl you might know what I’m talking about. Some band photos borderline on some far out Friend Finder profile that I sorta wanna be a part of. Ok not all 70s/80s dudes are “10s” and they were all probably wearing shitty cologne that’s worse than any Axe product on the market. But! You gotta like how frank these photos are. It’s like yer in bed in the band. Kinda freaky!
While flipping through the used vinyl at a local record store, looking for my usual hard rock and bubble gum fare, I came across these two glorious album covers. They maybe a little dated but their point timeless.
I have a dirty secret and, if you are a red blooded American, I bet you have the same one. I wanna fuck Nick Bolton. I first found out about this hardcore stud late at night, watching free digital channel reruns of Star Trek Voyager. He is the spokesman for Bell + Howell, and he’s on all their commercials for “military grade” flashlights, sunglasses, car visors, and cell phone camera attachments. His constant 8 o’clock shadow and butt chin memorized me and took me to a safe place. Later, when I did a web search, I realized he was, and is, so much more! He’s an actor. He works out a lot and knows how to stare endlessly into a camera lens. His well toned pecs and abs speak volumes! Plus he’s willing to throw down in chains, weights and bikini underwear. Whether he’s straight, bi, or, gay, he’s obviously unattainable, and he knows it! To coin a phase “I mean, there’s just nothing like HIM on the market today!”
While jogging through the thrift store today I found a copy of an old record by the band Steam. It contains the amazing soul-rock anthem “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” and a lot of other pseudo Motown diddies. Most importantly it’s got some very nice bathhouse images of the band on the front and back cover. What is it about moist young hippies with their sideburns and musky little mustaches that gets me all in kerfuffle? I dunno… I’m pretty sure the band regrets this album cover but I’m also pretty sure a lot of closeted boys in the early 70s were happy with the managements decision on this one.