What’s better than a grey bushy mustache, a butt chin, and an uncut penis? Whatever your answer is, those are damn good specs and William P. Butterscotch has ‘em in spades! He’s a army veteran, enjoys working on his 70’s muscle car collection, and lives in Sacramento CA with his American Bulldog, Clyde. His life is very complete and fulfilling, but he would do just about anything for a date with one of POW’s in Metal Slug. So, if you’ve been tied up and tortured for a few months(and not allowed to shave) you might be the kind of guy William would like to rescue in a storm of bullets. Wuf!

Here’s the first of the Urban Mountain Man’s 8-bit pixel stud collection: Stephon Wolfe. His mom named him 9 months after seeing the great sixties biker garage band Steppenwolf in 1970. Just like his name, he’s classic rock hard, I mean classic hard rock all the time. He works in construction, rides a Harley, and hopes one day Nintendo will make a game he can save Mario from Princess Peach.

Since CV-19 has hit the scene I’ve been playing a lot of retro video games lately to help pass the time. Being the good boy that I am, I am not tricking during this crisis and I hope you are staying safe as well. All this abstinence has led up to some pent up frustration that has made me horny for the muscly 8-bit and 16-bit characters in classic arcade games like Altered Beast, Metal Slug, and Street Fighter II. So I whipped out my pixel art app and started poking away at the screen. Watch this site over the next few weeks for more of my cheap graphic endeavors.