Author: mortimer

Straight Bear Daddy Porn

Who doesn’t like a yummy Straight Bear every so often?

Straight Bear
Straight Bear

Vintage Playgirl Stud Stephen D’Auria

Damn! Can’t find him on Facebook.

stephen d'auria

Mortimer Pye: Get to know him.

My name is Mortimer Pye and I like to Masterbate.

naked mortimer pye on a chair

T-Shirt Idea: Naked Pixel Men

Working on some fun designs for the UMM shop. Clink on the page link below and let me know if you’d buy one.
Naked Butt man Pixel Tee

Basicuda: Same Gay Bar, Same Gay Music, Same Friday Night

I’m not one to criticize a dance party, but since this one is being shoved in my face constantly through social media, I feel a need to express an opinion. I am sick of the same dance club nights being sold as something new and exciting. I am happy there is a place for guys to show off their new gear and sexy underwares, but the shitty disco is a boner killer, and has to go! I’m not sure what DJ Mataeo Segade’s (LA) playlist is for the evening, but I’m gonna guess it’s the same mind numbing EDM crap I hear every time I go out. Coupled with shrieking pop diva hits, you get the same sonic experience  every time a gay bar dims the lights at 10pm. The point being, listening to gay bar music in a gay bar doesn’t take one anywhere new or exciting.  I would advocate for more Rock and Roll (Tommy James, Booker T. and the MG’s, Slade, Deep Purple, The Scorpions, The Kinks, ELO, Sweet, Motorhead, Bob Segar System, Sly and the Family Stone, Buzzcocks) That would be something kinda new! But my argument would fall on deaf ears (Wah!) So I digress. I hope everybody has a great time shaking a tail feather and ruffling each others fur baskets tonight. Who knows maybe you’ll see me there ogling the mens in the latest fashions. I’ll be the one in the corner wearing the sexy black rubber industrial strength ear plugs. 😉basicuda


Time for reflection, and boners!
tree man

Rodney the cute accordion stud muffin

Been watching this fella wank his accordion for about a year now. I’m glad UMM has decided to give this commercial the attention it deserves, cuz Rodney is damn cute!

Lotsa Naked Men Sketches

An old sketch posted for posterity.
Lotsa Men

What the…? Vintage biker illustrator David Mann

I just have to post this.  It’s by famed Easy Rider mag artist David Mann.  I have no idea what’s going on, sexy as hell tho.
What the?

More Cocks erotic art sketch

It’s always a good day to dick around.
More Cocks