All posts by mortimer

REAL MEN EAT ASS: a T-shirt from

Believe it that I, Mortimer Pye, has sat and pondered this notion, “REAL MEN EAT ASS”(yes in all caps!) In this writer’s humble opinion, there is nothing more beautiful and delectable than a mans butt. Many bottoms have reported to me that most guys they hook up with don’t eat them out proper, if at all, and goddamn it, I think that should change! Thanks to I can use the power of persuasion, and maybe get a date or two, wearing the “REAL MEN EAT ASS” T-shirt at the next bar night or kink party.

(Read the UMM blog post for more information about 2 To Shave or not to Shave? That is the Question.

To Shave or Not to Shave

Many men complainin’ ‘bout shavin.’  Sayin’ “it’s not nat’rl!!!” Shavin’ that is. But what can you do if you like to. Shavin’ that is. Makin’ yer titties shakin’  Causin’ Yer gunt to itchin’.  Makin’ you horny less bitchin’. Sometimes it feels right when it feels wrong. Sometimes it feels “DAMN RIGHT!” A little off the side, a trim from behind. Yer buddy naked tonight, with a razor in the light. So in the furry end don’t condescend, and please… Don’t judge a man by what he  uncovers, just how he treats his lover.

Here’s a few more shaving buds for

News Flash: Harnesses no longer kinky

Yes it’s true! The leather harness, a long time main stay of the Leathermans closet, is no longer a symbol of passionate Daddy Worship, or Man Power. Nowadays it seems every good fag has at least one shiny new, above the tits, harness in their wardrobe ready for the local leather night. There was a time when procuring a harness took a bit of effort. I believe custom ordering one from a popular leather shop in San Francisco was the best way. Today you can order one online from many different stores, in many colors and/or different materials. Before I go any further I want to iterate that “kink is in the eye of the beholder,” so if you feel that harnesses are mega-kinky in every way, I doubt there’s much I could say dissuade you, but when I go to a local bar on a kink night, and everyone is wearing essentially the same gear, I start to question the motivations behind this fashion statement. Most men are like wolves, comfortable in the pack. So it makes sense that a similar uniform would arise to cement this pack mentality. But that’s not what kink is. Kink is not being like everybody else. Kink is individual to the individual. Kink is not commonplace. Kink is not something that everybody agrees upon as sexy. That’s what makes it a kink. So the leather harness may no longer be kinky, but can still be considered sexy. For example, I prefer a Daddy’s paunch to be harnessed above and below the tits so I can grab on tight as he picks me up throws me down on the bed and starts to…. ahem! That’s right America, harnesses are no longer kinky.