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Author: mortimer

Nick Bolton: I Mean, There’s Just Nothing Like Him on the Market Today.

Nick Bolton google search

I have a dirty secret and, if you are a red blooded American, I bet you have the same one. I wanna fuck Nick Bolton.  I first found out about this hardcore stud late at night, watching free digital channel reruns of Star Trek Voyager. He is the spokesman for Bell + Howell, and he’s on all their commercials for “military grade” flashlights, sunglasses, car visors, and cell phone camera attachments. His constant 8 o’clock shadow and butt chin memorized me and took me to a safe place. Later, when I did a web search, I realized he was, and is, so much more! He’s an actor. He works out a lot and knows how to stare endlessly into a camera lens. His well toned pecs and abs speak volumes! Plus he’s willing to throw down in chains, weights and bikini underwear.  Whether he’s straight, bi, or, gay, he’s obviously unattainable, and he knows it!  To coin a phase “I mean, there’s just nothing like HIM on the market today!”


Straight Daddy Bear Volume Two

A few months back I posted a series of screen shots featuring one hot european straight bear. While looking through the archives a found a second series chronicling his road to ejaculation. Click the pic below to see more.

Straight bear fucking


Cave Men Need Love Too

Are you a cave man?

Do you prefer to hide under a rock than go to a gay bar? Are you horny and lonely for another spelunker to crawl through the muck with? Well meet Ooga and Booga, two cave men who found love in the jagged desolate landscape from centuries gone by. So don’t despair. As our world continues to devolve, and men become less refined, there might be hope for the modern cave man. OOGA BOOGA! 4 ever! OOGA BOOGA


Got a Drippy Dick?

Been laying in bed to long? Are you staring at pics on yer phone that you shouldn’t? Are you at your desk working but not getting much done? Do you just want to whip it out and stroke away the pain? Well then you need to make an appointment with your drippy dick. You’ve been neglectful to your crotch, but it’s ok! A little frustration just makes the release a lot better. So take some time and relax. Let your hand do the walking and talking and the afternoon will melt away.

Drippy Dick pen illustration


Juicy muscle bear cartoon sketches (sorry it’s been awhile)

It’s been awhile since I, Mortimer Pye, has made an entry here on my beloved blog. The reason is I have been mired in a non erotic comic book project that I am very excited about, so drawing nekkid dudes has not been top priority as of late. Being that it is Pride month I will redouble my efforts and make a proper blog contribution to the cause. For now here are a few juicy muscle cartoon Bear fuckers from the archives fer yer enjoyment.


Chubby dudes with glasses and beards are so fine!

Hey guys! Chubby dudes with glasses and beards are so fine! That’s me Mortimer Pye. I’m also balding and got more than enough back hair for you and yer uncle to chew on. Sorry for being so forward. You see, when men get older we often loose our social graces around such things. Call it Bear, call it Bull, call it Daddy, call it GROSS!!! As long as it gets in yer craw bud! That’s what I’m here for. Chubby dudes with glasses and beards with glasses are so fine!


“Smoke & Chains” Comic Framed and for Sale at the UMM Shop

Smoke & Chains is a short smutty 2 panel comic I drew a few months ago. When I found a couple of these modern wood frames I knew I had to use them for something special, and nothing is more special than Gar’s dirty butt pounding away at his sub hole. Click here to purchase in the shop.

Smoke And Chains


Urban Mountain Personals: Cro-Mag Stud, Ulck

Me Ulck, and me want date with hot man meat soon. Me like to hunt foxes, pheasant, and wooly mammoth in Minneapolis park system. Me eat good! Me love warm Minnesota winters! Me horny for sex with modern gay man but don’t tell wife because Ulck in cave closet. Me like anal, oral and me TOP! But right Daddy could flip Ulck! If interested look for Ulck down by big river before fire rises in sky. Me will be carrying big spear!


Nekkid Pixel Men Digital Prints For Sale

The next line of products we are offering at the Urban Mountain Man Erotic Art Boutique are a fine selection of Nekkid Pixel Men. These 3.5 square digital prints are framed and matted in an black aluminum modern frame, ready to be hung or set on a flat surface. To start off the series we have three Bears available (sorry no Goldielocks) but keep watching this site because there are more Nekkid Pixel Men on the way. Collect them all!

Pixel Art


“Man Kisses are the Best” sketch for sale

Pencil and Paper in a thrift store frame: 30.00

Check Out the Shop for other sketches and erotic art for sale.